KwAcKy's Konfessional |
|
|
Nothing of interest; just mindless links to bikes Birmingham City Football Club and useless junk  
  
|
25 August 2007
18 June 2007
I took a new S3 out for a test ride the other day. The bike was stock. No extras at all. It was the green version. Not my personal taste but I can see why they have it in the range. The first thing that struck me was the size of the bike. Considering it's a one litre triple these things are tiny.There's no fancy paint scheme, no OTT graphics. But it look you'll notice the sportsbiker quality suspenion and brakes, the black frame, massive front discs, 10 spoke lightweight wheels and that oh so sexy single sided swingarm. I got on the bike and I have to say at first I didn't like it. No realy reason.; Perhaps it was a cultrue shock of going from a sportsbike to a street fighter. The seat is comfortable and with the standard Triumph narrow tank it's very comfortable. The narrow tank also means your knees aren't splayed out which is great for filtering. The handlebars are straight and up, forcing you to sit in an aggressive stance. Your elbows go out, you're pitched slightly forward and your shoulders are squared off. This not only makes you look like a hooligan on a hooligan bike, it aso makes you think you're a hooligan. The tacho and speedo have good features, including average mpg during your journey and what mpg you'll get if you carry on keeping the bike at more than 8,000 revs. As I pull away I get comfortable. The pegs are low, but that's no surprise as this isn't a sportsbike and doesn't pretend to be. Besides, I've got my pegs set up close to my ear'oles so any bike is going to feel low. That said, I didn't touch the pegs down when going for it. Wind blast isn't too much of a problem under 110 mph (again, having your legs close to the bike helps) but a screen might help matters. The triple engine has pull from the off and roll ons are rewarding. The fueling is spot on and I couldn't find any trace of lag or the usual emission holes. Sadly the bike doesn't sound too good with the large standard cans but the bike does hint at a sweet orchestra of burbling tripleness. Speed is deceptive. As the bike is quiet and the torque is silky you don't realise just how quickly you're going, only the wind speed is the biggest clue you're likely to attract attention of the wrong sort. Corners come and go and although the steering felt slightly slow I can't think of any time when I thought I was running out of road. That torque would make the bike a wheelie wannabee but the stunt I found myself doing was a stoppie. The brakes are strong without being sharp and the seating position is just right for pop the back up at traffic lights. The suspension was on the soft side but the dealer told me they backed it off after a few people said it was too hard. It's fully adjustable all ropund so it wouldn't take much to get it to my liking. The bike did what I wanted with good feedback and that meant my half hour ride turned into more than 2 hours as I found myself wanting to try out different roads to see how the bike behaved. Even in traffic I was having a ball, as the power kicked in you could feel the front go light. This bike needs a noise to match the personality. The arrows can (not for roaad use, yeah, right, whereelse will you scream this triple?) sounds the dogs. Some of the recent bike reviews had a go at the speed triple for not being fast enough. This bike is more than capable of doing nmore than 150 mph, which is more than most track riders need. Besides, on an unfaired bike, silly speeds like that are all too tiring. But these bikes aren't about speed, they're about attitude, poise, menance. You need to be seen briefly before your roar off on one back wheel, griining like a loon beneath a blackened visor The 675 disappointed me because it lacked that certain something. I thought I was heading in the same direction with the Triple, but it won me over, slowly clawing at me, whispering in my ear, telling me to behave like a kid skipping school. The minus points have to be low pegs, the lack of engine noise and being exposed to the elements. The first too of those problems are down to personal taste and can soon be rectified. The latter is something to get used to. Let's be honest, you get wet on a sportsbike and how often do you have to tuck in to avoid the windblast? 27 March 2007
24 March 2007
Wembley - England U21 v Italy U21 Thanks to True for unexpectedly getting me a ticket to the first international game at Wembley, to see the first goal and hat-trick. Shame they all came from an Italian!      19 March 2007
Alex at 7 months He's growing fast. He's 22 lbs which is a decent weight. He's got a filthy laugh and a very cheeky smile.    14 March 2007
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. That's it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th. It's like a perpetual love machine!" - Tom Birdsey (founder of Steak and Blowjob Day) 08 March 2007
Idle Internet Gossip The following is part of an e-mail I've received. It could be 100%, it could be 100% bullshit, it could be the fantasy of someone who did too many mushrooms, I don't know. Make of it what you will. We all know the close season before last was a bit of a joke with last minute signings being often, desperate measures as the boards plans floundered on a lack of interest from the parties involved ala mid fielders etc etc.. Apparently, The Force had told Bruce in that close season.."Look SB the fact is my one knee is fine but the truth is i need another Op to sort out the other knee which has problems as well... Bruce asked how long could he wait?? The Force said well i can give it a go but the truth is its just as liable to screw up as the other one was.. Bruce then asked him how long he'd be out if he had the Op done then.. THe Force quite honestly told him that it woiuld probably be almost another season out.. Bruce then said ..hang on we've only just signed you and you're saying you could be out for a whole season??.. The Force said.. yes but surely you were told that by the docs when i signed?? Ergo we went into the season with the The Force knowing that his knee could go anytime, or, it might be fine and he could wait till May , have it done. and be back for Xmas.. Only of course this being Blues, reportedly The Force's knee went in his first game.. The Force thought ....oh fuck... there's no way i can tell the Boss cos he will think I'm stringing him a line, signed a new contract, and buggered off on sick leave.. The upshot being that The Force didnt tell Bruce until some time in late October, that yes, I have to have the Op for sure... Now apparently, there was a serious spat between Bruce and The Force about the whole fitness regime... The Force taking the stance that he'd been upfront about it all and Bruce furious that he thought The Force had been less than honest about ,actually how bad it really was in the first place... The spat developed into a bit of a to do over the whole fitness regime at Blues with the The Force eventually saying something along the lines of... It's a fucking joke Boss, half the team are unfit. Bruce took it all a bit personally and The Force was told ..Go have the fucking operation and I don't want to see you til you are actually fit again by Bruce... It is rumoured, though i can't actually back this part up, that The Force and Bruce didn't actually speak to eachother, directly, again till this last close season.. that''s how serious it was.. anyway we the new fitenss regime in place some of what The Force had told Bruce during the spat was reiterated by "Professionals" and Bruce relasied that The Force was actually talknig sense and they made up although it took a while for the bridges to be repaired. Bruce then said OK.... I wil leave it up to you to come back when you yourself feel fit and i won't pressure you to play at all unless you yourself say you feel right.. The Force thanked Bruce and then said i could well be back before Xmas if i push it.. Bruce said don't worry just come back fit... Now come early December The Force, through Black, let it be known that he was ready to start training, and this is where it all gets a bit cloak and dagger... Bruce realised, along with the board, that a fit Force was liable to attract bids from the likes of West Ham/Bolton/Wigan etc etc... and that , it might well be hard to hang onto him..Given they knew Upson was on his way, as was Dunn, neither Bruce of the board wanted to lose the player who could be the club's biggest pecuniary asset on the cheap in January.. Ergo they , in cahoots with the The Force, who wanted genuinly, to repay the club for sticking by him, agreed to basically keep totally schtumm about his return to "fitness"... Ie, some of Bruce's protestations about Upson's possible transfer were, yes heart felt, but actually a bit of a screen to take other clubs eye off the ball, as it were, regarding The Force's situation, including his "Best mate" Big Sam at Bolton... Ergo my comments about The difference between The Force and Upson... Upson spent the whole of his rehab with onething in mind, leaving the club... The Force, out of professional honour, spent his time determined to prove he was worth the money the club spent on him... Afterall, all The Force had to do was make sure the right person knew he was actually fit enough to pass a medical and it would have made the papers.. and he didn't..Upson was acting like a spoilt brat, via his agent and the press, before he'd even kicked a ball in anger again.. One thing you will notice is, up until this week, nearly all the quotes about The Force and his fitness were from "A source" or Eric Black, only now has Bruce actually even spoken about it at length in public. 18 February 2007
Threee Middleweights and a Busa On a bright and breezy February morning, a small band of blokes, who really should have been at home doing DIY, went for a ride out. Nitronorry (Martin) was on his Graphite 675, his brother, Ian on a 2005 Kwak 636 B1 and Jamie on his twin carbon can clad Busa. Ne’er an uglier bunch gathered together and I’m sure the public were pleased that we spent most of the day with our faces hidden behind our helmets. I had planed to meet Martin and the others in Henley in Arden for about 9.30. For once in my life I was on time. I took a stroll up and down the High Street and window shopped for houses I could never afford. By about 9..50 no one had shown up and I no text received, so I decided to take the Warwick road to see if I could spot the advancing party. No joy. I went back to the High Street and waited until 10.15. By this time I had given up hope. Seeing as I had a pass from the wife I elected to ride up to Warwick and blow out some cobwebs. As I turned off the High Street onto the Warwick Road I spotted the others. It turned out that Martin had suffered some problems with his bike – probably a flat battery. Serves him right for being a part time rider [:P] Off we all went on the A4189 towards Redditch before turning onto the A435 southwards towards Arrow. We swung right onto the A422 through Inkberrow then onto the big and wide A44 to Evesham. Martin took us up Fish Hill and into towards the Cotswolds. Up until that point Norry had being leading with Ian and Jamie following and me taking the tail. On Fish Hill Jamie flagged me by and he turned into the rear gunner. Once we had ridden through the freezing fog we pulled into Moreton In Marsh for tea and a sarnie. Ian played mother, Jamie necked a hot chocolate before the waitress had time to place the drink on the table and I somehow left my dark visor on the floor. Fully refreshed we set off towards Chipping Norton for petrol (all relieved that we didn’t have to bump the 675). The traffic was quite heavy, so it came as no surprise that one of us got left behind. We pulled into a layby to allow Jamie time to catch up. And we waited. And waited. At this point Martin decided to turn back and find the Busa. I was going to stay put as the Daytona was in desperate need for fuel. Just as Martin was about to set off, Jamie appeared. It transpired that my visor bag had decided to jump out of my rucksack. Jamie very kindly went back to retrieve it. No sign of the visor inside, which is why I think I left it in the tea shop. I emptied the bag to fish out some Sportsbiker.net pens so it must have fallen out then. Off we went, once again. Ian had told us that he was going to peel off and head back home. The A361 took us from Chipping Norton up towards Banbury then the A423 to Southam and then the A425 bound for Leamington Spa. The riding was fast but not stupid. There was a decent amount of traffic on the roads, both bike and car, so we had to overtake when safe and this meant the gaggle of leather clad ducklings were often losing sight of each other. Martin took us onto the Fosse Way. As we came off the roundabout Martin and I got the jump on some cars before the double white lines kicked in. The B4455 Fosseway is a good road with some nice twisties inbetween some breath catching straights. As we all knew where we were going we went at our own pace, with Norry up front and Jamie bringing up the rear. I managed to keep the 675 within my sights and we soon made it at the junction with the A422. Once again we found ourselves waiting for the Busa. After 5 minutes we agreed to turn back. We found Jamie pulled over, having a chat with a car driver. Either there had been a coming together or this was a pleasant form of road rage. As the two trumpets pulled up, we both clocked the POLICE name badge on the car drivers jacket. Oh shit Martin and I weren’t sure if we should do the decent thing (whack the copper on the back of the head, throw him in the car, torch the car and make good our escape) or await our fate. We decided to stay. Once the policeman had completed his paperwork, he turned his attention to the Brit bike riders. “You two overtook me just after the island back there. I’ve been a traffic cop for about 22 years. I reckon you were doing about 80 to90 miles per hour”. Silence. Blank faces. “It was very good of you to come back for your mate. I’ve cautioned him. I didn’t think it was fair to throw the book at him when it was you two I was after. I won’t take the matter any further. “ We then had a lecture about being rusty riders out on a the first sunny day. It’s fair to say we stuck to the speed limit as we headed to Stratford. Once in Stratford the other two parked up and I turned to go home (taking the long way home towards Redditch). A good day out. Some 5 hours in the saddle, about 180 miles covered. Good company, no stupid stunts or suicidal speeds and a nice cup of tea midpoint. 17 January 2007
14 January 2007
10 January 2007
New! From Apple iPenis combines three products — a revolutionary way to masturbate in public, user control with touch controls preventing any premature embarrassment, and a breakthrough size varying device so you never feel inadequate again - all into one small and lightweight handheld device (just like your current one, but this is from Apple so it must be better). iPenis also introduces an entirely new user interface based on a large multi-touch display and pioneering new soft-to-hardware, letting you control everything with just your fingers. So it ushers in an era of penis power and sophistication never before seen in a willy, completely redefining what you can do with your todger. It also tells you when it's no longer trendy to own one, so you won't look out of touch. All males are born with the ultimate pointing device - our penis - and iPenis replaces that to create the most revolutionary user interface since the dong," said Mr Jobs. A full touch glans is available for sex messaging and there is a built-in 20cc fluid storage and ejection device. Mr Jobs said the iPenis was a "revolutionary and magical product that is literally five years away from being replaced by a totally new product". |
