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Not the sort of week I wanted

Monday started the week as usual. Work is frantic and I was busy clearing the decks to make way for a large number of files to be transferred to me.

Tuesday started off like any other. I took the bike into work and got my head down early as I had to leave the office for an hour in the morning. Tuesday was scan day. Sam was having her 11 week scan. The women's hospital is about 10 minutes away from work (as the motorbike flies) and work were fine about me leaving to go and join up with Sam. Anyway, the time would be made up, I was in at 8 and would be working until after 6 as I intended to go straight to the Ibis to meet up with the SHA crowd before the Blues v Boro game.

At a quarter to 10 I leave the office and head up to the hospital. I make good time (yes officer, I know it's a 30.... ) and get there before Sam. She's got the day off and she's decided to keep Georgie for the day. Whilst waiting in reception I spot Sam and Georgie. Georgie, not wanting to be left out, has brought he rbaby along in "baby push" (a toy pushchair to you and me). Georgie has given herself a weird walk. Almost HipHop/Ghetto gangsta stylee. I must stop playing NWA when she's about.

Usual story once inside, sign here, wait there, move rooms, wait some more. We're left hanging about for so long I'm talking about having to get back to work. I've already been absent for 90 minutes and we're still waiting for the scan.

Just as I'm about to clear off, we get called in. Sexist, I know, but I was surprised to see a bloke doing the scan. He spots the biking gear and we start chatting about bikes. He's got a ZX12R but fancies the new Speed Triple as his bike is too large and he want's something better suited for commuting. We spend a long time talking as he scans Sam. I don't think much of it as we're talking bikes, and bikers love talking bikes.

He asked how far gone Sam was. 11 weeks. He scanned some more. Then the solemn face. He couldn't detect a heartbeat. He wanted a second opinion. Off he went to get a colleague, leaving Sam, Georgie and I in the darkened room. Sam and I jut stared at each other. I held her hand. She started to cry. Georgie became agitated.

The second opinion confirmed that there was no heartbeat. Our intended second child had died. It wasn't to be.

Sam went to the toilet. Georgie, sensing something was up, started to cry and screamed for her mummy.

When Sam came back we were taken into another room and left alone for a while to gather our thoughts. Not that you have many at a time like that.

A nurse came in to discuss the options:
1) let nature take it's course
2) take a tablet to speed things up
3) have an operation to finalise things.

Sam wasn't keen on the first choice and when told that the tablet option didn't always work, she asked for an operation. After checking with the surgeon, Sam was booked in for the next day.

I couldn't go to the game. I was too raw.

Sam was, understandably, very upset. Tuesday night was difficult. Not only do you have to deal with the loss, but there were nerves about the forthcoming procedure.

In short, Wednesday went as well as can be expected. We got there at 9.30, signed the usual forms of consent. Sam was taken to theatre and after an hour returned to her room. Back home in time for the 6 o'clock news.





I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it

So I've made my mind up I must live my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love

There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song

And it's goodbye to love
I'll say goodbye to love

Just been out to do some shopping and drop a couple of items off at the post office. While I was in the car my "I wish I were a Carpenter" CD kicked in, and this was the first song that played. I realise it doesn't sit on all 4s with what's happened, but there are enough words and lines in the song to kick a tear or two out of me as I drove along.
posted by kwacky at 12:26 pm

 

posted by kwacky at 1:01 pm

 

posted by kwacky at 8:10 pm

 


Pandiani overreacts as Gray misses an opportunity to put Blues in front
posted by kwacky at 12:58 pm

 

posted by kwacky at 5:17 pm

 
New Season

Here is my prediction for the forthcoming season. I know it's unfair to have the new teams all relegated but that's based on the current squads.

West Brom played some nice football at the end of the season and I think they'll carry on for the first third and get some points in the bag.

Man City won't suffer too much due to the loss of SWP. If Pearce can organise the defence then they'll be ok.

My surprise package is Pompey. Each season one team comes from nowhere and races up the league. Even if none of their players stand out, they have a good team spirit and they're not afraid to roll up their sleeves and play ugly football to get all 3 points.

Blackburn have the makings of a decent side but Hughes's players have more baggage than the Marcos family on holiday. Things can get out of hand pretty quickly and the players won't want to help each other out on the pitch.

Spurs have a huge squad but Jol is an excellent manager and he should be able to keep the fringe players happy.

Boro continue to quietly build and Moyes should be able to keep his Everton side in the top half.

If Viler can land Baros and keep Solano then there's no reason why they won't finish in the top half. DOL has to work with one hand tied behind his back and he's still plagued with injurys but he did well last season with one of the smallest squads in the league.

As for Blues, well, this season is all about Bruce. He's been unfortunate with injuries and that curse continues as we start the season with news that Nafti will be out for at least 4 months due to a cruciate ligament tear, Dunn isn't ready, Cunningham is out and Clapham is nowhere to be seen.

Dunn is still on the road to recovery and a lot depends on his ability to come back to old best. A team with Dunn on one side and Pennant on the other will scare the hell out of most sides and with Heskey up front doing what he does best - holding the ball up and battering the defence - we should see some goals this season. Of course, a lot depedds on Forssell being fully fit as he's looked rusty and slightly off the pace in the pre-season games.

Cunningham is out for a few weeks with a collapsed lung and that means Tiny Taylor gets a chance to stake a claim in the team.

With Nafti out of action the central midfield pairing will be Butt and Izzet. Both players have something to prove as one missed all of last season through injury and the other wants to wear the England shirt in 2006. Butt's spell at Newcastle can be politely described as forgettable but Bruce knows the player and this is an ideal club for the ex-Manchester man to make his mark.

Bruce has to show what he can do with the team he's built. The Board have invested heavily in the team and a poor season will make it difficult for Blues to hold onto the best players.

I predict a slow start but things will turn around in the New Year and we'll storm up the table.

1. Chelsea
2. Arse
3. Man United
4. Liverpool
5. Boro
6. Spuds
7. Everton
8. Bolton
9. Blues
10. Viler
11. Pompey
12. Man City
13. Newcastle
14. Charlton
15. West Brom
16. Blackburn
17. Fulham
18. West Ham United
19. Sunderland
20. Wigan
posted by kwacky at 3:50 pm

 

posted by kwacky at 7:06 am

 
Donington

This turned into a complete waste of time and money for me.

My daughter decided to wake the house up at just afer 1 a.m. I go in to chek if she's ok. Not content with me getting up, she then decides to scream the house down until mum shows her face. This goes on until 3.30 when Sam decides to take Georgina downstairs to try and get her to sleep.

With just over 2 hours undisturbed sleep under my belt I head off to Donny. I get there in good time and notice that the pit lane seems very quiet.

I'm feeling very tired but hope that adrenaline kicks in and keeps me sharp. I make a decision to assess my tiredness at lunch time and call it a day if I'm too tired and putting myself at risk.

At briefing we're told that only 50 have booked, so they are running 2 groups with each group having 30 minute sessions. I'm in the slow group and we go out first.

I'm at the front and we do our 2 sighting laps when we get waved on by the instructor.

I decide to take it easy because I've got all day and the sessions are longer. I'm tootling around but realise that I've left the group behind and I'm starting to see the tail of the group. I didnt' think I was going that fast. I was concentrating on my lines and my braking (that brake set up I've got is stunning) but it seemed I was one of the quickest in the group.

Anyway, I'm going through Craners when I ihave my Rossi moment. I feel the back end step out and my arse come out of the seat ("FUCK! HIGHSIDE") is the first thought. Just as I'm getting ready for another broken collar bone I realise my arse is back in the saddle, the bike is upright and I'm still on the tarmac. I decide to go into the pits and check the tyre. A quick inspection showed no reason for the slide and the pressure was spot on.

I go back out and notice my fragile confidence had taken a knock. I was sure I could feel the tyre sliding underneath me. Back through Craners and a guy on a Millie goes down in front of me, right where i had my moment. I ride through the shattered plastic and do a couple more laps but I rode like a numpty.

The 30 minute wait for the next session was too long and it allowed tireness to creep in. I went out in the second session with bruised confidence, no faith in the rear and feeling knackered. I called it a day and went home.
posted by kwacky at 1:36 pm