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How many warnings can one biker get in a week?



On Friday, coming back from the Bike Show, I got flashed by a speed camera. Reckon I was doing about 55 in a 40. Not too bad. My own fault really but it was hidden and it's near a McDonalds drive thru, so I was too busy looking out for chavved up Novas to be spying cameras.

As it was on a very busy road and the main road from Brum to the Bike Show, I'm hoping the film was full (it was the old type). Fingers crossed.

Last night, on the way home, I came up to a very large island. 3 lanes of traffic on my side, 2 lanes on the right and 3 ahead. I'm in the outside lane coming up to the island. Car in front indicates right, so I flash my lights to let him pull across in front of me to take up the right hand lane.

The car in front, the car to his left side and me all pull away. All turning right, go past exit one and then 2, all 3 vehicles indicating left to turn into the exit with two lanes for outgoing traffic.

The car in front of me slows and drops behind the other car, so I go past.

Car in front decides that's not he exit he wants so swings his car infront of the other car and me.

I close my eyes, lean my weight towards the oncoming car (so I land on the bonnet), open the throttle and grimmace as I wait for him to hit me somewhere just behind my legs.

Nothing.

Nowt.

Fuck knows how but he misses.

I'm scared shitless but still moving along. I get home and demand a hug from my wife.

So tonight, I'm coming back from work. Round the same island only this time I see my wife in the traffic. Much nicer surprise.

I carry on along the road. This road drops from a 2 lane to 1 lane road. But, it's still very wide.

Cars are bumper to bumper. I'm filtering past them.

A car decides he wants to block me . Only thing I can think of. He's got no where to go. I open up the bike to get past, as I do so I realise there's a knocked down bollard warning of a concrete road partition.

Bike hits the concrete, engine screams as the rear wheel leaves the ground, I go light as I float upwards, still holding onto the handle bars

I drop down and land on the bike, which bucks as it hits the deck and I land on top.

Thing is, all wheels are in contact with tarmac, I'm sitting on the bike and we're still going forwards.

Bike swerves across the road as it regains balance. Nothing coming the other way.

I make it home in one piece.

For some unknown reason, God is looking after me this week.

Think I should go to Church
posted by kwacky at 7:53 pm